Love Archives » JohnShen.L Blog

Research suggests that public declarations of love on Facebook or Twitter are largely not welcomed by objects of affection — 78 percent would prefer a text. As one who last professed true love in the previous century, it’s hard for me to understand why people post cute, cuddly messages about their nearest and most expensive on Facebook. You know the sort of thing: “My gorgeous wife just bought me a red toothbrush.” Or: “My new boyfriend’s smile makes my heart sing like Engelbert Humperdinck.”

It’s hardly: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.” Still, I assumed that in the world of openness and connectedness, these love postings were de rigueur. And yet research from dating site Zoosk appears to suggest that the objects of these messages don’t like them at all. I am lovingly grateful to the Social Times for directing me to this startling discovery. For this research shows that 78 percent of people would rather get a private, intimate love text than a public love posting on Facebook or Twitter.

It appears from these numbers that people’s greatest concern is the reaction of co-workers who might see these postings. This I can entirely understand. I once sent flowers to the girl of my moment. She was, quite naturally, angry. For I had sent them to her office. ”Why did you do this?” she exclaimed (in a text, of course). “They attract attention to me. Everyone comes over to ask who they’re from.” Yes, life is hard in corporate America. Your climb up the grubby, greasy ladder is slippier than mud wrestling (especially if you’re at the bottom), so, please, let’s cut out the public romance.

It seems that 64 percent are happy for their true friends to see their romantic postings. There is a divide, though, between the sexes about how enjoyable romantic Facebook and Twitter postings really are. Just more than half, 51 percent, of women rather enjoy reading them, while only 37 percent of men are moved in a positive direction. Still, 38 percent of people say they wouldn’t dare ever, not ever, to post anything romantic that anyone else might espy.

It’s a tricky line to navigate. Mark Zuckerberg wants you to share and share alike, so that he can actually find a way to make money from your a-liking. And yet the world is such that the mere expression of love can get you into water that is hotter than the Devil’s armpit. It used to be that it was all so simple then, but technology has rewritten every line.

What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love an occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said Love all.

Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But love is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.

In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it. Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture.

Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect. Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

Love is a Choice

If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn’t just happen ― you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you’ll love easily. I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, “I want you to know, I love you all.” I smiled tolerantly and thought, “Sure.” Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love. Obviously, there’s a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.

When Your Parents Don’t Like Your Boyfriend:

Why is it that we can never let go of the idea that we need our parent’s validation? Well, because they are our parents I don’t care what anyone says we all just want our parent’s approval. We want them to proud of us. Talk about us to their friends (in a good way:). And we want them to like our boyfriends…

So what do you do when your parents don’t like your boyfriend? Well, there’s a couple of things to consider.

1. Is it just your parents or your friends too? If everyone doesn’t like him — then there’s a problem.

2. Is he your boy toy or would you like to marry him and carry his children? If you’re just playing, then who cares?

3. Is he rude to your parents? Dump him.

4. Is he shy around your parents? He has potential – give it time.

5. Is it causing problems between you and your parents? Arguments? Well, if he’s not hurting you then they are much too involved. It shouldn’t be that serious. He’s just a boyfriend.

How to Get Parents to Like A Boyfriend

1. Have a discussion with your boyfriend. Explain that it is important to you that he and your parents get along and ask him to do what he can to make this happen.
2. Ask your parents to invite your boyfriend for dinner and include him in family events. If he has made a bad first impression, he can begin to make up for it. If the problem lies with your parents, continued contact with him can help them change their minds
3. Keep your arguments to yourself. Don’t turn to your parents whenever you and your boyfriend have a fight. If they only hear about him when you’re fighting, you can’t expect them to like him when you’re not. Rather, they will be driven to act protectively of you based on what you have told them about the fights.
4. Stop acting as his advocate. Your parents want to make up their own minds about your boyfriend. The more you try to talk him up and argue with them about him, the more stubborn they’re going to be. Let your boyfriend speak for himself.
5. Be nice to your boyfriend’s parents. If you don’t treat them or your boyfriend well, they might complain to your parents, and they, consciously or not, will decide not to like your boyfriend in retaliation.

Tips & Warnings

Consider that your parents, who are more experienced in life, may have a legitimate reason for not liking your boyfriend. Try to listen calmly to their reasons and ask yourself if they might be right.
Remember that the job of getting your parents to like your boyfriend is mostly your boyfriend’s, not yours.
If your boyfriend is abusing you emotionally or physically, tell your parents and ask them to help you. No boyfriend should abuse you, no matter how many other good qualities he as.

How to Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Parents

1. Define your relationship. To you, that is. If you’ve never established whether you two are together or just sleeping together, it could get mighty awkward when your parents refer to him as a boyfriend. Be prepared to explain yourself, and make sure it’s not a surprise to your parents, your boyfriend or yourself.
2. Alert both parties. If your family has any quirks or touchy subjects, let your boyfriend know beforehand. If your dad is a diehard Steelers fan, don’t let your boyfriend wander in and start trash-talking them. Also, let your parents know about your boyfriend. It will pave the way for decent small talk and avoid awkward missteps.
3. Set some rules. Tell your boyfriend how to act. Let him know whether to address your parents by their first names or sir and ma’am.
4. Announce yourselves. Your parents will probably want to tidy up the house and be a little prepared before you show up with the new love of your life.
5. Choose innocuous conversation. No politics. No religion. No sex.
6. Make things comfortable. Act as a friendly liaison between your possibly petrified boyfriend and your wary parents. Share family stories, introduce people, spark up conversation, tell your parents stories about you and your boyfriend, and let him chime in.
7. Thank both parties. If things go well, take some time to show your appreciation to each party.